Keep Who You Are, Even In A Relationship



Portrait, People, Darkness, Art

When two people get together and start a relationship, they can both have their own life. There will be how one person enjoys spend to their own life and then there is going to be the way the other person likes to devote their life.

Through being together, certain parts of the life are going to change, while there’ll be other parts that won’t. What is clear is that they won’t have as much time as they did before to focus on certain requirements, and this is because they will spend a certain quantity of time with another person.

Adding Something Different

Still, this is not to say that being in a relationship will be something that will have a negative impact on their life. Some things might have to be placed to one side and they may not have as much time as they did before to do certain things, but being with the other person will allow them to fulfil needs that were not being met before.

There’ll be the physical needs which they are able to meet, as well the emotional needs. They may even be at the point in their life where they are ready start a family, so this is another need that they’ll have the ability to fulfil.

Healthful Dependence

The service that the other person gives them can let them reach out for things that they would not have reached out for before.

This comes down to is that nobody is their very own island; they need others in order to function at their very best. Ultimately, these two people are going to be a team, and this is what will enable them to be stronger together.

Two Parts

Having said that, if they did not have their own life, as well as what they do together, this would not be true. This is why it’ll be essential for them to be sure they don’t neglect the things they were doing before they got together – which is, of course, unless it relates to something that’s no longer suitable.

Their relationship will add to who they are, making it easier for them to do at their best when they aren’t together, and what they do when they aren’t together will increase the relationship. Both pieces of their life are then likely to be important.

A Vital Part

If they were not able to continue to listen to others areas of their life, their relationship would be radically different. However, the reason they can focus on others areas of their life, even though they are with somebody, is probably be due to the fact they have good boundaries.

Both of them will know where they start and end, and where the other begins and ends. This will enable them to maintain their sense of self, while being able to share who they are with the other person.

Another Scenario

This does not mean that there’ll never lose who they are; what it means is that this is not likely to be the norm. Though this is how some relationships are, there are going to be plenty of others who will function differently.

There will be relationships where one person ends up doing what the other person wants them to perform, together with what they think they want them to do. In the beginning they would have been two people but, as time went by, this could have changed.

Out of Touch

One of these is then going to act as though they are only an extension of their partner. Their spouse is then not going to be another part of the world – they are the centre of their world.

Their behavior will have gradually shifted to accommodate the other person’s needs, and this is naturally likely to make them neglect themselves. So, as the days, weeks and months went by, they would have gradually become estranged from their true-self.

The Main Purpose

This is likely to have been something they weren’t fully aware of.

Pleasing another person will then have made them feel great initially, yet there’s the chance that their emotional state has changed as time has passed. When they’re with this individual, they might be used to feeling trapped, powerless, helpless, and angry, amongst other things.

What’s going on?

Disconnecting from who they are and focusing on another’s persons wants is what will feel safe.

As one is an adult it can be hard to comprehend why this could be the case; after all, it is not as if they need this person to survive. Hoverer, the reason they behave like this as an adult is likely to be due to what took place during their early years.

Childhood

This might have been a time in their life when they had to focus on their caregiver’s needs, with their needs being overlooked. If they had not of done this, they may have been abandoned or even hurt.

Along with this, it would have induced them to believe that they need to concentrate on others people’s needs so as to survive.

Awareness

Behaving in this way would have kept them alive as a child but now that they are an adult, it causing them to suffer unnecessarily. Their needs are just as important as anybody else’s needs.
If a person can relate to this, they might want to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or healer.



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