Who would you refer to as your friends? Is it the individual who spends the most time with you? Or the person who’s always there in times of trouble? Is that a real good definition of a friend or just a construed significance of what a true friend ought to be?
We could look up the meaning in a dictionary, but anybody could do that. And that won’t change the answer you’ve got inside your own thoughts. What do you really feel a true friend is, what do you believe yourself a true friend to be.
Reason why I bring this up because, someone I once believed to be a great friend of minewhen I actually paid close attention also, wasn’t a very good friend to me. My definition of a friend is somebody who has similar views and beliefs close to your own. Someone you can relate to and who you believe understands how you feel.
To further elaborate on this, a friend should be a give-and-take kind of relationship, and not solely giving or taking, but it has to be equal on both sides of the spectrum. Without this balance someone is being taken advantage of, where unfortunately a lot of mistake a friendship to be and believe that is how it ought to be.
Also a friend should be one to encourage and support a friend’s decision, if they understand and believe in their buddy’s choice. There’ll be times where friends will disagree, which is okay, everyone has the right to choose for themselves. However, to still believe in them, despite the fact that they don’t particular care for the cause, is what a friendship is about.
In my particular situation I had a friend, let’s name him Bob to secure his name here. Whom was going through some challenging times, his girlfriend at the time of 3 years wasn’t treating him like crap, little did I know he had been contributing too, but I felt bad for him and befriended him and helped him out. I let him stay with us and my family when he finally decided to leave her and stood up for him. I soon discovered how much of friend he was when he came in to live with us.
At first things seemed great, our arrangement was for him to get back on his feet and find a place of his own. I know he needed to recoup some funds out of his job prior to getting a place, and so I knew it might be a few months or so before he could make some substantial steps forward. A couple of months passed and it appeared as if nothing more had happened, he had been making himself at home, and not much progress on trying to move forward. Started making him pay rent to help matters speed along, and cover his expenses he’s accrued while in our home.
And this time, we were further from being connected than when we were not in the same household. Come to find out he’s been spending his time constructing another relationship after he emerged from the one he’s been in. Wanted the best for him, but advised it may not be the perfect time to start starting another relationship.
So fast forward, and now Bob and his new girlfriend were living with us!!! I don’t understand how it came about, but it did. When you believe you are friends you’re sometimes blinded for their manipulated ways. Though it was brief before they got their own place together it still happened.
To bring you to the present, Bob and his new girl, who I’ll call Bertha, awakened, and took all of his stuff. Even though I warned him about the relationship to start with, I still was there for him. Now to back track a bit I got involved with my own business and brought him along too, because I knew it could help him as it has helped us.
Now I know that it seems as if I have drifted far from class here on whom our real friends are, but this example explains more than any words I could write, through personal experience. At the moment I realized he wasn’t my friend, because he didn’t support me, but more importantly he did not believe he would ever escape the 9 to 5 rat race they most people believe is the only alternative. I didn’t realize how much of a friend he was not until I myself began to grow personally.
I say all this to say, our friends are the ones who beliefs amounts match up, and they aren’t constantly taking, but giving and sharing. One who believes in you for better, and has attained it their selves, and gives you advice to be successful too. One that can help you understand your full potential and allow you to understand you can have all you would like.
And friend, if you’re able to relate to this story, and have gone through something similar, than I want you to know you have a friend in me. Although I don’t know you, or may never meet you, I believe in you. If you’re looking for a way to do this for yourself than I’ll be more than happy to assist you get there. Or if you are already on your way, keep moving. The only way you will ever fail is if you stop.